This is going in my “Aunt Ivy” arsenal.
1. Do You Like My Hat?
Oh, my God, I can’t believe I’m even telling you this one. I can’t. It’s so easy. Just put something on your head which is not normally found on heads. A book. A sweater. A piece of toast. Then say, super proudly, “do you like my hat?” And the toddler will WIG OUT. The first thing babies learn after coming into the world, apparently, is that things do not go on heads. After they yank it off your head, put it back on, or put a new object back on your head, and say EVEN MORE PROUDLY: “Do you like my hat?” Repeat.
2. Imma Push You
This one was inspired by the comedian John Mulaney. It’s probably better not to explain the provenance to your sister, but you can watch the routine here (NSFW). At any rate, this one is dead easy: you’re sitting, type-type-typing, the toddler stands in front of you, you say (in a fake-threatening voice): “IMMA PUSH YOU.” Then you take the flat of your hand, and you place your hand on their chest, and you knock them over. They love it! They giggle hysterically. Repeat until they throw up from joy, then pass them back to mom.
The rest are at The Hairpin